Amid social media likes, workplace approval and feedback from others, it’s easy to lose track of our internal compass. We have developed an addiction to external validation, needing the approval of friends, family, colleagues, and even strangers online to feel worthy and confident in our choices. But this reliance on others’ opinions of us can steer us away from the person we are and the happiness we deserve. When you learn to listen to yourself and not seek the approval of others you are building one of the most useful skills in personal growth and happiness.
At the heart of it, self-trust begins with you as the highest authority in your own life. Other people may have useful points of view and insights, but they don’t have your distinctive experiences, sensibilities, and hopes. Your inner voice holds the wisdom of the truth you’ve been living all along.
The Other Hidden Costs of Validation Worship
Seeking approval from others all the time leads to a dangerous trap of dependence that detracts from your self-growth. In this, you would be a slave to need the constant approval of others, and you are a slave by the choices you make when you require on others to affirm your value. This cycle often gives rise to people-pleasing habits, where you act in a way you think others want you to act, rather than as you feel called to.
Others found, in the wide-open spaces of an economic frontier, a vicious loyalty that turned them into pitiless killers; in such friendships, even when playing tongits with friends, one might be found playing to impress or from a fear of ridicule rather than the game for its own sake. They show us how ingrained the grasping for validation can be, and how it worms its way even into our most frivolous moments.
Building Your Internal Guidance System
Trusting your inner voice takes practice and patience. Begin by making time for quiet moments in your day, allowing you to hear your thoughts without distractions. Your intuition is a guide and so is your body, understand that your body will react to certain decision take notice. Your intuition, in particular, is the language of the body, something that can be felt in the gut and in the heart, even before your head has time to ponder and reason.
Here are some key strategies for building a stronger inner voice:
- Practice mindfulness meditation to become more aware of your internal dialogue
- Journal regularly to explore your thoughts and feelings without judgment
- Notice your energy levels around different people and situations
- Reflect on past decisions where you trusted your instincts versus when you didn’t
The Middle Way of Inner Wisdom and Outside Information
I don’t mean to say that you should disregard feedback from other people or do you in a vacuum. The aim is to learn retrospectively when to be a sounding board and when to trust your own judgment. The advice of trusted mentors, friends, or professionals may be invaluable in assisting the decision making process, but the ultimate decision should have a name really comfortable to you.
Wrapping Up
Your own inner voice is the most advanced guidance system, tailored to your own life. Even if external validation feels good in the short term, it is ephemeral and unreliable. Gain unshakable confidence from learning to trust your own internal wisdom and as a result make decisions that bring you true fulfilment. Also, remember the people who matter the most to you, will honor whatever your gut tells you, and those who don’t well let them explain themselves why they should remain in the inner circle.
